He Is... The Resolution

I am so far removed.

That realization sometimes makes me feel damned to Hell.
Like I have no hope, no chance at being whom God wants me to be.
Sometimes my mind gets the best of me & I'm convinced that maybe I'm not chosen.
That I'm no child of God because there's this hole in my heart that God has yet to be able to fill.
I have desires that God's love just doesn't seem to satisfy.
And sometimes my way seems best, feels best.
I enjoy it.
At times, unapologetically.

On this day I just want to thank God for
His mercy, His grace, His love, His forgiveness.
All of which I abuse.
Take for granted even.
I am a mess. And yet I know He loves me.
I can't imagine loving like that.
I would love to, but I'm not sure any (wo)man could.

God, I'm grateful for the birth and physical death of Jesus.
For the Spirit that pricks my heart, and therefore reassures me that I'm not all bad.
God, as the new year approaches, it is my prayer that I find more pleasure in You,
that I am more pleasing to You
for no other reason than to truly show & prove to You that
I love You.

That's the least I can do.

#HopeandaFuture