To Be Continued...

I had a twitter discussion recently with a new friend that has moved me to write a post (tentatively) called "Have You Ever Been Deceived?" ...Unfortunately, with all that is going on in my life and lack of time to do the scriptural research, for I don't want the post to be an opinion piece as much as I want it to be a Biblically sound post with Biblical references to support my arguments, the post is not likely to be birthed anytime soon. In the meantime, I'd like to say this, which is my opinion:

As Christians, we can't simply conclude that people simply don't wanna "STOP" their sinning. We should know better than anyone about STRONGHOLDS.

Strongholds of the MIND are fierce & AREN'T easy to shake off. But with our LOVE (& not condemnation) we can help others "shake the devil off”.

FYI

I know I "rant" quite a bit, but I think a lot & like to share my thoughts, reasoning. (Even when I haven't come to a conclusion of what it is, therefore seeking answers aloud or being transparent here on this blog.) Especially when I think it can be edifying--spark some self-evaluation--which is why my topic of choice is usually relationship based (in some shape or form).

Relationships are crucial and our interaction with others is a telling indication of our own personal health. I think my stance on this has much to do with my desire to be a marriage & family therapist. From the time of conception we are in relation to someone. That conception was a result of a relationship. Relationships have been of value since the beginning of time--God walking in the Garden with Adam, God creating Adam a companion, Eve.

...So yeah, I think relationships, relations, relating is just as much a "me, myself & I" concept as it is a "world-wide" concept as it is a "spiritual" concept. Complex & yet not so intricate in that we can't gain understanding and therefore can make changes that heal the experience of which we relate with self and others in love.

So What Are We Supposed To Do Now That There Is Change?

My first thought is CHANGE OUR MINDSET OF SELFISHNESS. We need to be our brother's keeper. Period. If you don't know what I am talking about ask anyone who is 40 years + what it was like when they grew up in a neighborhood when neighbors were "family". I am more than sure there was a difference in self-image, there was a sense of responsibility/accountability, a sense of unity and support. As I heard today, it is necessary to "bring neighbor back to the 'hood" because such change takes more than just you alone.

My second thought is LOOK TO THE PAST. Learn it. We can learn a lot from it. Seriously. We have been successful before. Once upon a time we successfully had our own productive communities. We can do the same. I just ask that we not limit ourselves to building a community with those that look like you. Yes, black pride is necessary. It is necessary for us to increase and improve our self-image, however keep in mind that there are communities that are stricken with the same mental and societal factors as you and yours. Be willing to welcome all. Trust me, we can because for so many years we have had to embrace ALL that had ONE drop of black blood running through them as our own REGARDLESS of how black they looked.

My third thought is BEING WILLING TO CONTRIBUTE with our actions AND our character. Character may be more powerful than actions because often times people first notice WHO we are before they notice WHAT we are or do. Also, (and this relates to selfishness) in your contribution know that EVERYONE cannot be a leader. Everyone cannot lead because it is necessary for some to follow. So be willing to FOLLOW. And if for whatever reason you do not see the leader that you believe is necessary for change, BECOME that leader. Be mindful, be in tune with yourself enough though to know whether your decision to lead is one of personal benefit (recognition & power) or that of the benefit of others and the need to sacrifice yourself. SACRIFICE because leading is not pretty. Most times, as a leader, you are alone until others DECIDE to get on board (and one thing we do know is that the MIND is difficult to change), and there is no telling when they will. Maintain faith, hope, perseverance, and knowledge of yourself when you decide to let the blockade stall you. Deep down inside you KNOW who you are. Just accept it. Claim it and don't let LIES (past, present, and future) deter you, get you off track, lead you to destruction instead of construction of change. Necessary change.

I may add on to this. *smile* This was a rushed attempt of me trying to get all my thoughts expressed.

Also, (See? *LOL*) I don't know (I will never know) what the Obamas mean to you. I do ask though that we do not make them into immortals, remember they are not God Himself. (HOWEVER, they indeed embody God (as we ALL do--some just aren't knowledgeable of it, so they act accordingly)). When you see Barack Obama don't stop at the fact that he is a man of color and he is President. PLEASE take note of his CHARACTER (there goes that word again) and be influenced. When you see Michelle Obama take note of her character. Take note of her role in relation to her husband and her children, ladies. Aspire to be like that.

They are proof that there was NEVER a limit--only the limit we formed in our mind. I am not minimizing societal factors, but indeed we are sometimes our best hindrance. At times no one have to hold us back because we do it so well for them, the enemy. Open your minds and your soul to the FACT that there is no limit. There's no such thing. We CAN accomplish everything. Just keep in mind that they don't happen instantaneously. Sometimes it takes 200, 400, 2008 years. It may not happen in YOUR lifetime. Yes, I said it. YOU MAY NOT SEE THE FRUITS OF THE SEEDS YOU SOW. Period. Malcolm, Truth, Martin, Parks, Garvey did not see it happen, but it DID! So don't EVER let the fact that you can't see it manifest SOON stop you from being a catalyst for change.

Don't doubt yourself. Do you really think that Michelle's mother thought that her daughter would be the leading female of the First Family? Do you think that Barack's father knew that his son would be President of AMERICA? Do you think Michelle knew when she decided to "spend the day" with Barack 19 years ago? Do you think Barack as a young man knew that he was going to be President? So don't ever doubt the wonders that may manifest from some of your peers. Try not to cast them out. Don't ever doubt the wonders that may manifest from YOU. Don't allow others to cast you out and most important, don' cast YOURSELF out.

With love and with much budding growth and wisdom,

Sa'Toya S. Truss 

It Takes a Village. ...Or Does It?

This morning I was sitting in my room studying and downstairs my mother and her friend were talking.  ...And I kept hearing this child say, "Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy."  And then repeatedly call my mother's name.  Well, I must say this perturbed me.  Not because the child was calling for them, but because she was calling for them while they were clearly talking.  I thought, "This child doesn't have any manners."  But then I thought about it and realized that a child at that age only do what they are allowed to.  Which further made me think of why the adults hadn't corrected the child's behavior.  ...This then made me think about the bigger picture:  the state of the community.  Yeah, I'm serious.

The situation was reminiscent of the bigger community.  Truth of the matter is there was a child downstairs who was, in my opinion, acting unmannerly, two adults--one being the parent and the other being a friend of the parent--not addressing the matter, and a young woman, me, upstairs wanting so badly to address it, but opted out because she didn't want to be out of order or offensive.  This happens EVERYDAY in the community.

In a perfect world, the child would know better because the parent would have taught the child better.  In a better world, if the parent had not taught the child their manners,  the parent's friend would have addressed the child herself.  And in a good world, I would have gone downstairs, knelt down to the girl at eye level and said, "Hey Child's Name, your mom and Ms. My Mother's Name are talking.  If you want their attention, say 'excuse me' sunshine.  Ok?"  And smiled.  ...But none of this occurred.  So what type of world is this?

What type of world is this that people turn a blind eye to things that are not right?  What type of world is this that people who want to address a problem hesitate to do so because they don't want to get in 'someone else's business'?  What type of world is this that when a person is addressed they take offense, they're on the defensive?  In my opinion, this is a world that is soon to crumble.  Seriously.  Sometimes I think of the world I, God-willing, will bring children into.  I mean, what state will this world be in--when basic manners, basic expressions of respect for another like "Please", "Thank you", and "Excuse me" are no longer being taught or being required?  What will the state of the world be in when those of the community decide to shut their eyes at everything that is out of order?  Clearly, if you close your eyes, it doesn't mean the boogey man is no longer standing in front of you.  And as a people, have we become so sensitive that we can't accept constructive criticism without being on the defensive?  When did it become odd for the wise to correct the wrongdoing?

Trust me, I know I've heard or have even thought myself "Old people always in somebody's business!"  But Lord knows, I wish there was somebody in someone's "business".  (I place 'business' in quotation marks because, we are each other's business.  There's nothing that happens on the other side of the fence that doesn't in some way affect my yard.  Maybe not directly and maybe not today, but it will and it DOES.)  If someone's getting in your business out of the spirit of love, I see nothing wrong with that.  And I stand by that.  But because people don't like to be held accountable--the REAL root of the matter--no one wants anyone to interject, even if that interjection is most needed for the well-being of our community.

I don't know how many times I've seen a child look like they could use a hug or a man look like he could use a smile while I was out on the town (or any form of injustice or pain) and instead of providing those things, as that small voice inside of me told me to, I kept it moving because my desire to oblige that voice within was overpowered by the fear of being looked at as weird or my actions being misunderstood.  It is indeed difficult to balance the need to be your brother's keeper and to let your brother be, but we can't get to a point where our village is becoming more like a vast land of separate tents.  Does that make sense?  I hope so.

• My hope is that those with wisdom guide those that may not be wise.

• My hope is that those who are aware of destructive behavior--no matter how small or big--of the community, address it.

• My hope is that those addressed discern (which, honestly, requires maturity) whether the words of guidance spoken are said out of malice or love, falsehood or truth before becoming defensive or offended.  (We have to be big enough to look ourselves in the mirror, ladies and gentleman.  If we can't address issues within ourselves, how can we address any issue?)

• My hope is that we can find somewhere, somehow the benefit of having a village, even among this big ol' world.  We can't get so advanced that we no longer recognize the sanctity of community.  

It indeed takes a village to raise a child and for us all to survive.  I'm not talking about mere physical survival, but the survival of the orientation of our family called the human race.  Right now, in my humble opinion, we are quite incompetent and mediocre where it really matters, i.e. respect for others, the values that we pass on from generation to generation, our general mindset.  Right now the lesson being taught is "be quiet, don't rebel even when it's absolutely necessary" (and it's necessary whenever it affects our well-being negatively, killing us, disabling us).

In fact, stories, such as Chicago's Derrion Albert, are a result of such destruction of a village.  When the tragedy occurred I heard a lot of people place blame on a lot of people.  But truth is no one every claimed accountability for their contribution to such a tragedy, whether directly or indirectly (remember that fence I mentioned above?)  Many didn't and still haven't come forward out of fear--fear of the community bullies, but also the fear of being deemed a "snitch".  It's a culture that is destroying our villages.  Secondly, many people fail to have respect for others, so to take someone else's life is done effortlessly.  And thirdly, I'm very sure that the culture (according to dictionary.com, "the quality in a person or society that arises from a concern for what is regarded as excellent") of that Chicago community has been that way for generations.  The acceptance of and excuses people made for the actions of those that took Albert's life was heartbreaking to hear.  (http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/category/walk-in-my-shoes/: The last video in particular affected me the most.  I couldn't even be upset with the young man because he's stating the facts of his reality, that "People die daily.")  But again, because people who are aware of the boogey man choose to close their eyes instead of face it, the cycle continues.  And because those that have been educated by the ones who choose not to face the boogey man identifies the boogey man as a norm that should not be addressed and, furthermore, finds it offensive to address it, the boogey man keeps lurking at our expense.

We have to decide at what cost we are willing to have our village, or what's left of it, destroyed.  Is the cost of being considered "nosey", "a snitch", or "weird" too high to address the issues of our community and the possible continuation of those issues once we're dead and gone from this world?  I say, "No." 

We can't mind our business at the expense of allowing someone to be led astray, by not guiding each other at all in fear of offending.  Truth is we all need to be offended from time to time in order to get out of our comfort zone.  We must stop embracing this culture of not being accountable, for not only ourselves but each other, for we should be our brother's keeper.

And, yes, it does take a village.