The Myth of the Stolen Man/Woman

"S/he stole my man/woman."


The thinking that a wo/man can steal your man/woman is ludicrous to me. Unless kidnapped or, maybe, blackmailed, no wo/man has that much power to make a man/woman leave you. Being that's usually not the case, it's fair to say your man/woman walked away. Without coercion.


Accept that truth & stop trying to blame a third party for the actions of "your man/woman". Your man/woman, although yours, can't be controlled, caged, tucked away safely like your other possessions. Like you, your man/woman have this power to make choices--to change their minds & therefore ... their hearts. [Ouch.] With that said, a man/woman can't be stolen, but they can choose to walk away. No matter the reason for doing so--another wo/man, and no matter the circumstances--s/he knew your man/woman had a lady/wife/man/husband--it was your man/woman's choice to leave you.


You'd think this would not have to be said, but with Mashonda's "woe-is-me-Alicia-Keys-stole my man" sob story being brought back to a dismal life on Vh1's "Love & Hip Hop" and the many statistics regarding relationships being "threatened" by social networks, I just felt a need to make this public service announcement of sorts. ...The way wo/men screen their partner's twitter Timelines, Facebook Recent Activity, Wall posts, Inbox, their cellphone history is quite ridiculous. Sad. And I hate to say it, but pitiful. As if them doing ANY of that stuff is going to keep their man/woman from walking away. All that energy is 1. a poor use of energy, 2. a sign of insecurity--either in yourself and/or your relationship; deal with it head on, not by playing Inspector Gadget or thinking you are powerful enough to manipulate "your" man/woman to stay, and 3. plain ol' foolish. Stop it! ...Your maturity is showing--it's quite little--and, more important, you're doing more harm to yourself (and probably the relationship you're trying so hard to hold onto) than not.


A little insecurity is natural from time-to-time (and, some would say, healthy), but the above actions and thinking is not healthy. Or rational. I mean, do we really believe that adult men & women are being stolen from us? Stolen? Ok, not him/her, but their heart, you say? ...My answer, a man/woman has to let their guard down, put themselves in a vulnerable position in order for their heart to be penetrated in a way of which your love could be replaced, no longer a desire to withhold and for another woman/man's to take shelter in their heart. Again, that's a choice. Your man/woman's choice.


Unfortunate, but true.