I was sharing with a friend how people seek me for advice, wisdom, guidance--even people I wasn't close friends with in or haven't spoken to since high school--and, although honored that people find me wise or mature or whatever enough to seek me out for such intimate matters, that it kinda boggles my mind why of all people they know they'll come to me. (I don't mind. I love trying to assist people through their journey of unclarity, but sometimes I don't feel worthy. I mean, I'll have a 40+ year old woman ask me about aspects of life I only have observed.) I remember the friend replying, in short, that I had influence, and I couldn't help but remember my mother telling me in recent years how when I was a child the teachers would tell her the same thing. For instance, if I wanted chocolate milk, the other kids wanted chocolate milk. (Funny, most of my life I never felt like the "cool kid".) ...I remember my teachers during my high school & college years telling me I had a gift with words & critical thinking--was a good reader, speaker, great at reasoning, connecting the dots. ...Maybe that's my gift. The gift of knowing much by experience, but mostly through observation & what I consider common sense and knowing how to articulate it. And influence people with it. I'm not sure I know what my gifts are necessarily. All I know is that I need to put use to what I'm naturally inclined to do, desire to do, what I feel a sense of purpose doing. For God's sake.
I like to think I am in some way with my nuggets of "wisdom" shared via Facebook statuses, notes, twitter tweets, this blog post, or even in communicating with people the old-fashion way, but I think I've put a cap on my potential by not qualifying myself with proper training. I mean, I'm great at using Blue Letter Bible or Got Questions, Google Search or old-fashioned searching the Bible's concordance, if ever I am moved to give a scripture of wisdom in conjunction with my words of encouragement or point of view real quick, but I believe my hesitancy to serve in ministry has much to do with my lack of maturity in knowledge of the Word. Therefore there's this fear of not being the best representation of Him. I have a lot of growing up in Christ to do. But who doesn't? That'll always be the case. One of the characters depicted in "Young Lady of Diligence" is Doubting Doris. It reads "Faith is believing what God says about you. ...Part of ministry is learning so don't let yesterday's struggles prevent future successes. (1 John 4:4; 2 Tim. 1:9; 1 Tim 6:12) Doubting Doris is me. I hate to admit that because I'm also that person who will encourage people publicly & privately to not doubt themselves because they're a child of God and God loves His children and is all powerful and made us in His image, dada dada da, but in all honesty, although I know that to be true because the Bible says so and I believe in it's validity, I, too, still struggle with truly acting in that knowledge, which is manifested in self-doubt. Truth is, many times when I share nuggets of truth, I'm preaching to the choir--myself.
The scripture mentioned in Chapter 2 "He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed" (Proverbs 11:25b), although I've read it before, for the first time sounded like the basis of my personal mission, vision, creed. Refreshing others has always been what I've wanted to do whether it be by singing a song, cooking a meal, counseling someone, serving someone.... And in doing so I have felt refreshed. Giving others a sense of power as best I know how is the best gift that keeps on giving. A friend of mine once told me that “[my] energy” has always lifted [their] spirit, so much, it sometimes feels as if [they] could “float off the ground.” That's an honor. And I believe such a gift is one that will help me fulfill my potential. In what capacity? I don't know. But I'm sure whatever [I] do, [I should] work at it with all [my] heart, as working for the Lord, not for men" (Colossians 3:23). In that case, I'll need the belt of truth because I have a feeling the gift of words will be applied. Now all there's for me to do is train for such ministry by "rising early to develop the tongue of a disciple". Isaiah 50:4 reads, "The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught."
I'm not at all saying that I will start this training tomorrow. I'm still guilty of self-doubt in this capacity. It's quite sinful. (If you believe in the power of God & prayer, pray for me.) What I am saying is that more & more I am becoming more aware of who God wants me to be & I'm slowly, but surely becoming that woman. Stick around and watch me transition! Watch me make great strides (& stumbles) along the way. It's all part of the journey, the test, the testimony, the blessing.
FYI: When I ask people to pray for me I make sure to pray for myself. My prayer? That my words brings healing, be a tree of life. (Proverbs 15:4)
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Another book I LOVE is Releasing Your Potential (Myles Munroe). I'll have to share that book as I'm doing Waiting in the future. Releasing, I believe it will make a non-believer a believer in Christ & a believer a stronger believer of their God-given purposes. As well, as The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership (John C. Maxwell), which speaks greatly about being a positive influence on others' lives.
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