Be Steel

A few of my male friends, who'd you'd least expect to ('cause they play(ed) pro- or semi-professional sports, or they have a great following (male & female) on twitter--you know, they're the guys that guys like & wanna be friends with and girls like & wanna be lovers with--and such guys think/believe/feel on as deep as superficialities will allow, right?), have voiced that they aren't interested in women who "go hard in the paint" to get their attention & affection. Huh? Are these men who, by many's standards, are the "best" eligible bachelors really preferring the (personas of) plain Janes over the Nicki Minajs?! 


Apparently.


See, some women lack the understanding that there's power in being subtle, low-key or, better stated, authentic--not a carbon copy of what's seen on EXTRA. Pop culture teaches girls to be plastic. To be caricatures of their true selves, &, even worst, mass-produced carbon copies of someone else. Where they do that at? Apparently in I-Don't-Know-Myself-Enough​-To-Love-The-Real-Me Ville. Plastic's the new real. It's the day & times in which one's effort in one's outward being takes precedence over one's inner being. It's the day of 'My *ss is my best asset (& not my heart/spirit).' It's the days in which a woman's beauty is based upon how much of a "10" she is & not in how she carries herself--the way she talks & walks. (Which is why so many girls put so much effort (or "go hard in the paint") into their outer selves in hopes of snatching a man's attention. Being EXTRA, over the top, to be seen. 


Girl, you've caught it, but can you keep it? What are you to do when another catches his attention? 


Such behavior begets a cycle of having to go hard in the paint to keep your man's attention even AFTER you got his attention because that of which you caught his attention is fleeting (outward beauty & often times lack of character & depth, which he will bore of). I can understand why you're insecure (even with your "man"). However, that seems to be the reality--the cute girl, not the nice girl or even the smart girl are getting the "ballers". Listen, Evelyn of Vh1's "Basketball Wives" is an exception NOT the rule. ...Plus consider her 'man'. (Well, maybe that's not fair. Let's just say I would pay him no mind. & yes, he would probably pay me no mind. Thank God.) Sure you can settle for what is futile ("love" based in superficiality) or you can settle for what's meaningful (love in the true essence of the meaning)). Kudos to the men for doing the Heisman on those type of girls. Such girls will benefit you in the least bit. Any lady you decide to make yours should INCREASE you, not decrease you. 


Ecclesiastes states, "Vanities of vanities, all is vanity ...[for] the conclusion of the whole matter [is] fear God & keep His commandments..." & surely finding value (& truth) in things of such folly (& limited view of one's self) is not of any substance. Ladies, if you emit light, you don't have to make yourself known. Your presence is made even in darkness. We are all unique & our light's our own. It's not better than anyone's (or less better than anyone's), it's simply our light. Allow people to bask in it. And you find confidence in it. The best beauty accessory is confidence in knowing your beauty's longevity lies deep within you (& not on the mere surface). ...It doesn't make you invisible or boring, just effortlessly attractive--a magnet, not a player in a (often times, one-sided) tug-a-war. Stop tuggin' & pullin' for men's attention. Just be "steel" & attract. 


#BeingEXTRADoesNOTMakeYOUE​xtraORDINARY




[A recommended book for the single ladies, "The Young Lady in Waiting" by Jackie Kendall & Debbie Jones.]