"You may have never realized that every time you check your calendar or refer to a date or write one down, you are using Jesus Christ as your reference point.
Because of Jesus, history is divided in BC (before Christ) and AD (anno Domini, in the year of the Lord). Every other event in history and every event on your calendar today is dated by how many days and years it has been since Jesus Christ appeared on earth.
Even your birthday is dated by his birthday."
excerpt from Rick Warren's The Purpose of Christmas
That realization sometimes makes me feel damned to Hell.
Like I have no hope, no chance at being whom God wants me to be.
Sometimes my mind gets the best of me & I'm convinced that maybe I'm not chosen.
That I'm no child of God because there's this hole in my heart that God has yet to be able to fill.
I have desires that God's love just doesn't seem to satisfy.
And sometimes my way seems best, feels best.
I enjoy it.
At times, unapologetically.
On this day I just want to thank God for
His mercy, His grace, His love, His forgiveness.
All of which I abuse.
Take for granted even.
I am a mess. And yet I know He loves me.
I can't imagine loving like that.
I would love to, but I'm not sure any (wo)man could.
God, I'm grateful for the birth and physical death of Jesus.
For the Spirit that pricks my heart, and therefore reassures me that I'm not all bad.
God, as the new year approaches, it is my prayer that I find more pleasure in You,
that I am more pleasing to You
for no other reason than to truly show & prove to You that
I love You.
On This Day In 2010: "Sa'Toya Truss is taking a risk of faith ...and such an act may appear crazy to others. | "A risk of faith takes you toward your Dream, even if it doesn't feel comfortable to you." (Bruce Wilkinson)"
Things are coming FULL circle. *SMILE*
Found the following two videos from a blog, It's The Rat Pack. It ministered to me. Hopefully it can minister to you.
Note: Don't get so caught up in the product that is being advertised that you miss the message.
Risks of faith takes heart. A heart that is filled with faith and fear. Fear of being anything less than one is purposed to be. Fear of allowing one's fear overcede one's faith. For "YOU are stronger than doubt" (@Carolyn_Malachi).
...Can no longer be consumed with doubt. Can no longer be concerned with rejection or misunderstanding. Cannot allow my mistakes and flaws to hinder me ('cause I'm gonna make 'em & I definitely have 'em). I know I say it a lot, but I must 'allow my condition to change my position'; use my mess as fertilizer and not poison. Trust the God I say I trust. Love regardless of its (seemingly) lack of return. And KNOW that as long as I have breath in my body I have purpose & GREAT potential. Flowers don't bloom overnight, but if you wish to witness transformation, keep watch ...& expect me to bloom! I am all that I am to be & all that I could never imagine myself to be. Thank you God in advance! #SomethingLikeAPhenomenon ...Yeah, I'm feelin' myself.
so I can get back to what I believe in? Back to the old me?
And
God, please hear my call.
I am afraid
for me.
Love has burned me raw; I need your healing,
Please.
please,
please.
I am such a fool!
How did I get here?
Played by all the rules
Then they changed.
I am but a child to your vision. Standing in the cold
and the rain.
Lost here in the dark,
I can't see
my foot to take a step.
What is happening? Oh, this hurts so bad.
I can hardly breathe. I just want to leave
so...
This song is like a literal excerpt from my mind, my diary. I've felt this way, I've said these things. ...For more than 2 years now I have been trying to "get back to the old me". But as much as this song has touched me, in my reflection of just how close to home this song is I’ve realized just how far I’ve come. This summer & the lessons learned up until this very moment have brought me to a place in my journey of which I feel like I've seen the darkest of the darkness in which I've been lost. In fact, I know I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Life is truly coming full circle for me. I'm gaining clarity in various areas of my life. And I'm so excited! I'm so humbled. When I declared & proclaimed that " 2009: Caterpillar (lowest point of my LIFE). 2010: Cocooned (rejuvenation). 2011: Butterfly (enough said). #2011istheYearofMYBreakthrough" I truly had no idea!
If it required me to play by the rules and for them to change, to be foolish, to ask questions regarding my worth in order for me to call out to God and for Him to hear me and gain answers that would move me to change for the better & gain a better appreciation for who I am already, as hard as it is to say (because I'd hate to do it) I'd do it again. ...Indeed every relationship is a lesson. Indeed, every mistake, every flaw is an opportunity to be made aware of our lack/greatness in the moment and our potential. Indeed, God is so good, for even our detours are beneficial to our God-ordered journey. I was told recently that "The finish line is just the starting line for a bigger race." And indeed a bigger race is coming, and I wouldn't have been able to run this upcoming race with my head held high, shoulders pulled back, and assurance of who I am and how faithful God is if it hadn't been for the marathon of a race I am finishing. Looking forward to the cross countries and sprints, now! I have found a confidence like never before.
Hope floats. Faith soars. Both have gotten me to the finish line.
I had a twitter discussion recently with a new friend that has moved me to write a post (tentatively) called "Have You Ever Been Deceived?" ...Unfortunately, with all that is going on in my life and lack of time to do the scriptural research, for I don't want the post to be an opinion piece as much as I want it to be a Biblically sound post with Biblical references to support my arguments, the post is not likely to be birthed anytime soon. In the meantime, I'd like to say this, which is my opinion:
As Christians, we can't simply conclude that people simply don't wanna "STOP" their sinning. We should know better than anyone about STRONGHOLDS.
Strongholds of the MIND are fierce & AREN'T easy to shake off. But with our LOVE (& not condemnation) we can help others "shake the devil off”.
