FRUSTRATED with FRUSTRATION

This is something I wrote a long while ago. I can't share all that I wrote because I was VENTING. *lol* But I thought it was interesting enough to share the edited version. I was going through some hard times of weakness. *smile* It's funny now, but IT WAS NOT at the time. (p.s. Love never dies, just remolded to fit the circumstances.)

Frustration from wanting you close
and I can't have you.
Frustration from not having fun
even when I try because I'd rather
do "nothing" with you.
I want you and I'm tired of not having you.

I don't know how much longer I can take this.
Do you know last night I felt you?
I swear you were near.
My body reacted, my breathing changed.
I swear my eyes even watered.

...

Frustrated because I'd rather be sitting
close to you.
Frustrated because I'd rather be enjoying you.

...

I'm a fool...
I feel like a fool...

I feel this way
and you don't.

...

Baby, I love you!

And I wish I knew,
I wish the words "I don't love you"
could come out your mouth
so that the pain of your words
could wake me up to reality.

Just say it already!
Just tell me.
Tell me anything...
but make sure it's the truth.

You sleep at this hour
and I cry tears in the shower
hoping that those that walk past my door
can't hear my cry
glad to know no one can see my tears...

because I'm here alone
and you're at home
dreaming your dreams.

I'm so happy that you don't consume my 
head while I've fallen asleep in my bed
because then I would not be free at all
from this...this frustration.
I can get away from it in my sleep.
It's only in my waking hours that you
consume me.
When I'm busy, when I'm bored,
when I hear a song, when I read a book,
when I choose an outfit, when I eat a meal,
when I'm with my friends, when I'm in the
shower, when I first see myself in the morning,
when I brush my teeth, when I sit on my
couch, when I walk the campus, when I'm in
class, when I'm at home, when I'm on the phone,

You're often in my head
and I can't stop it.

I want you so much and I love you.

I'm just frustrated!

And I'm tired of crying.

I'm tired of this frustration.

...

FRUSTRATED with FRUSTRATION
and I don't think I can do it anymore.